What I've Been Lookin For
by YourPontmercyFriend
Summary: Modern AU focused on Marius. I've been wanting to explore Marius more and dive into his family life and his relationships with people (specifically Courfeyrac) and that idea plus a friend wishing there were more fics with deaf people has lead to this. Marius is deaf and meets his online friend irl named Courfeyrac who turns out to be his neighbor. High school family drama
1. Chapter 1

Written things are in 's, sign is in -s and dialogue is as normal in "s. I am aware that ASL is vastly different from English in grammar I write the translation of it since glossing would confusr most people and muddle it. I am not fluent enough in ASL to be able to describe everything that is signed but just know that it's different than English.

-my friends my friends this is a page break-

Courfeyrac grinned as he checked his phone, seeing one of his online friends was online and reblogging the usual hipster pictures and textposts with the occasional Pokemon post. The school bus always took forever to take him home and he figured he had awhile to chat and browse.

Combeferre looked over from his book and sighed. "Must you always be on tumblr? Couldn't you, you know, do something useful that betters yourself?"

"I'm enjoying myself and art betters the soul, so it's good enough for me. Plus one of my cute friends are on and before you call me shallow I've never even seen a picture of him. His personality is just a beacon of cuteness." Courfeyrac eyed Combeferre's book and asked, "Would you rather I read about emperor penguins?"

Sleet and rain hammered the windows on the bus and it was forecasted to only get colder. Luckily it was the first day of winter break but even in the afternoon it felt more like night with the dark grey world outside the window and everyone eager to get home.

Combeferre read over Courfeyrac's shoulder. "So you're baja-blastoise and this cute friend of yours is marius37? Odd, I know a Marius at our school."

Courfeyrac's face brightened. "You do? We're in the same time zone for sure, we've confirmed that when chatting. What if it's him?"

"Maybe."

The sleet mix was turning to snow and the slush on the ground was starting to freeze. Courfeyrac sighed happily because bad weather meant hot chocolate and typed in a message to Marius. "Hey, how're you?"

-my friends my friends this is a page break-

Marius smiled as he scrolled down his tumblr dash, looking at pictures and letting himself relax after a long day at school. He was curled up on his bed on his stomach with his laptop. This was one of the few times of the day he could stop being alert and just enjoy looking at pretty things. Sometimes when he saw a set of gifs he would cover the words with his finger, lipread what the characters were saying and then check his work with a smile as he of course got them right.

The cell phone on the bed beside Marius buzzed and he unlocked it to see the weather app pop up, informing him his area had a heavy blizzard advisory in effect, power outages possible.

Whatever, he was warm under his blankets.

He refreshed the page to see a message that turned out to be from baja-blastoise.

'Hey, how're you?'

Marius smiled and quickly typed back, 'I'm okay, you?'

A minute later he replied. 'Eh, there's some nasty weather in my area but I have a good excuse to make hot cocoa. So I'm good.'

Marius couldn't keep the smile off of his face as he felt a warm glow inside of him. His friend wasn't here with him but at least he was out there somewhere.

'It's pretty bad here too, it's dark outside and the rain and ice mix is coming down rly hard. I might make some cocoa too if my grandfather lets me.'

His grandfather.

Marius kept his personal life an absolute secret from everyone at school. It's not like he ever communicated with anyone enough to have a face he could call a friend but he had spilled himself out for baja-blastoise. He couldn't help it. Marius had desperately needed a friend and he gladly accepted an online one.

Even though Marius's grandfather had raised him Marius could tell he resented it. M. Gillenormand hated having a deaf grandson both for the extra effort it took to be with Marius and for the embarrassment of having a child without all five of their senses. Marius couldn't see any other reason for his grandfather to be so harsh and to have taken his voice away.

'No one should be denied hot cocoa. Fight him for me if he says no.' Marius hugged his Pikachu plushie to his chest and was about to reply when the soft lamp in his room suddenly went out. The laptop stayed on because it was on a battery and Marius got up and put his hand near the heater vent to only feel stillness.

The power was out.

He turned the laptop off to conserve the battery after explaining to Courfeyrac why he was signing off. Marius wrapped himself in a blanket to prepare for the cold that was going to creep in soon since the heat was off and went downstairs to check on his grandfather.

Marius's grandfather was lighting candles on the dining room table and put his hand out to single Marius to stop as he dug in a drawer for a flashlight, as if Marius being unable to hear meant that he couldn't hold a candle without setting the house on fire. Marius took the flashlight anyways as his grandfather faced him and said deliberately, "Don't use your phone so it stays charged and don't leave the house. I'll be up to check on you every once and awhile."

Marius nodded, not bothering to sign because even after 16 years his grandfather still didn't know much ASL. He curled up in bed with his flashlight and Harry Potter book and read for about half an hour before his door opened.

It seemed awfully soon for his grandfather to check on him and he shone the flashlight directly at his face with a smile as his grandfather shielded his eyes with a scowl and said, "Get a bag together; the neighbor has a generator and we're going to spend the night where it's warm. Now get that damn light out of my face!"

Marius obeyed and got off the bed. He unzipped his backpack and dumped out all of his schoolbooks and papers as a satisfying start to winter break before packing clothes and other things he'd need.

-my friends my friends this is a page break-

Courfeyrac had no idea what to expect when M. Gillenormand told him he was going to get his grandson. He hoped he would be around his age and that he wouldn't be babysitting but even if he was Courfeyrac wouldn't mind spending time with a kid.

M. Gillenormand came out a few minutes later in a coat and said, "Thank you for inviting us for the night."

"Oh it's no big deal sir," said Courfeyrac with a smile. "My mom suggested it, thank her."

"I shall." He sighed heavily as they heard quiet footsteps from inside. Marius peeked out and shyly stepped over the threshold to see Courfeyrac. "This is my grandson, Marius. He's deaf and can't speak, and I'd appreciate it if you'd watch him while we're at your house. I wouldn't want him to accidentally get into trouble."

Courfeyrac's mouth fell open and Marius blushed deeply and looked away. Of all the reactions to someone being informed he was deaf Courfeyrac's was out there. Marius wondered what vaguely derogatory thing his grandfather had slipped in this time, because it was always something.

"I'd love to hang out with Marius," said Courfeyrac. Marius didn't see him say that and only looked towards the two of them when his grandfather tapped his shoulder.

"Do you need help making it over?" asked his grandfather, gesturing at the ice on the ground and the hail and snow mix.

-Oh yes, since you're a hearing person who's like ninety my vision is a whole lot worse than yours, right? Of course I need help with everything from crossing the road to making tea.- signed Marius with a scowl. He sighed and calmed down and signed -No.- defeatedly. That was one sign his grandfather knew at least.

"Alright." His grandfather turned and talked with Courfeyrac and they started walking to Courfeyrac's house.

"I think I've seen Marius around at school," said Courfeyrac, starting to get excited at the high possibility he had just found his online friend. How many deaf high schoolers were there named Marius who were in bad weather conditions like this and living with their cranky grandfather? "He's always working really hard and studying and I actually never even knew he's deaf."

"He tends to hide it." Marius's grandfather looked back at Marius, who was frowning because he had no way of knowing what the two people in front of him were saying, though it was apparently about him. "He's an expert at reading lips so he can survive in the hearing world but I worry about him. He may not be all there all the time."

"I think you should give Marius more credit," said Courfeyrac. "He does really good for being immersed in a crowd of people who don't speak his language. Is there any reason why he doesn't go to a deaf school?"

"I can't let him become so cut off from hearing people that his deafness becomes even more of a handicap. It's a hearing world and he has to live with hearing people. If he's a loner at school it's not my fault."

Courfeyrac bit his tongue because the way Marius talked online, he didn't consider his deafness a setback and hated it when anyone called it that. He didn't want to get mouthy with Marius's grandfather right after they met and he didn't want to give away how he knew Marius. He stayed quiet until they were at the door and he let them in, smiling at Marius as he took his coat off. "Do you want hot chocolate?" he asked as he made sure to face Marius directly.

Marius nodded and smiled. Maybe Courfeyrac would treat him like a regular person despite whatever trash talking his grandfather had done. Courfeyrac kicked his shoes off and Marius followed him into the kitchen with his backpack still on. Courfeyrac could hear his parents and Marius's grandfather taking in another room but ignored them. He got out mugs and the cocoa mix as Marius filled the tea kettle and turned the burner on.

Courfeyrac tapped Marius's shoulder as they waited for the water to boil and asked, "Do you mind if we communicate on paper? I don't know ASL, I'm sorry."

Marius's face brightened and he nodded. He pulled a blank notebook out of his backpack and a pencil and wrote, 'Writing is great. I'm sorry it takes more effort than speaking though.'

Courfeyrac took the pencil and replied, 'No, it's ok. You're worth the effort. Do you happen to have a tumblr?'

Marius read Courfeyrac's message and nodded. Courfeyrac then wrote, 'Do you happen to be marius37?'

Marius froze and then quickly wrote. 'Are you baja-blastoise?'

'YES!' Courfeyrac grinned and Marius beamed back. The kettle whistled and Courfeyrac poured the water for both of them and handed Marius a hot cocoa packet and spoon. Courfeyrac was nearly bouncing up and down as he wrote, 'Oh man I've been waiting to meet you for so long!'

Marius smiled so hard his face hurt and he and Courfeyrac rushed to get their cocoa made and walked as fast as they could up the stairs and to his room without spilling it. They carefully set their mugs down on his desk and Courfeyrac flung with arms around Marius without warning in a spontaneous hug and Marius fell back onto his bed, taking Courfeyrac with him. Courfeyrac started laughing and sat up to say "Sorry!" through his giggles and Marius laughed in breaths as he stared at the glow in the dark stars on Courfeyrac's ceiling in the form of constellations.

Courfeyrac attempted to roll off of Marius but overestimated the size of his twin bed and fell off onto the floor where he laughed even harder. Marius accidentally felt himself vocalize as he lost control from his mirth and quickly covered his mouth in shame at making what he assumed was a horrific noise.

Courfeyrac noticed and stood up with his default smile. He brought the writing pad over to the bed and wrote, 'Your grandfather has made you believe that any noise you make is bad, right?'

Marius nodded, feeling his happy mood deflate as he saw in his mind's eye his grandfather's scowl whenever he made noise as a child. He had been so good about it, only ever feeling his throat vibrate when he cried and now he had messed up minutes after meeting his only friend.

Courfeyrac had been writing as Marius thought and passed him a note. 'Well he's wrong. No one's laughter sounds bad and now that you've met me we'll have loads of fun and you'll never have to worry about him keeping you down. PS sry about the hug everyone's used to me doing that and I forgot to weren't.'

Marius signed -It's okay.- and then physically drew a smiley face. He felt close to Courfeyrac already without many words between them and felt himself glow as Courfeyrac put an arm around him and wrote, 'Do you want to teach me ASL?'


	2. Chapter 2

Marius gently reached over and corrected Courfeyrac's letter -P- because he got it mixed up with the -Q-. Courfeyrac smiled bashfully and accepted the correction. -Sorry- he signed. It was the first thing he had asked to learn and Marius waved his hand and smiled.

Learning was slow going but Courfeyrac was determined to try as hard as he could, to prove that he through Marius's language was worth learning. He started to finger spell -DO YOU WANT TO PLAY POKEMON?- but Marius grimaced and wrote on the paper.

'I appreciate your effort but finger spelling drives me up the wall. You can just talk facing me.'

Courfeyrac shook his head and wrote, 'No, I feel better writing so we communicate on the same level. If that's okay with you.'

'I like it. Thank you.' Marius paused and blushed before he wrote, 'Do you mind if I keep our conversations?' Courfeyrac shook his head and Marius wrote, 'Thanks.'

'It's adorable that you want to keep this. I really mean a lot to you?'

'YES.' Marius ducked his head shyly and Courfeyrac could tell if was a common gesture but with him it wasn't negative. Marius's face was glowing too much for it to be bad. Courfeyrac hugged Marius tightly and ran fingers through his hair.

Marius relaxed completely and felt he might drift off until Courfeyrac scribbled down, 'So what do you like to do aside from read and hang out on tumblr?'

'I play Pokemon and I sign songs. It's my way of singing.'

Courfeyrac didn't bother to write down, "You can sing in ASL? That's so cool!"

'Do you want to see one?' No one had ever asked before, and when his grandfather had walked in on him passionately signing he'd called it the lowest form of interpretive dance.

"Yeah!"

'You know Let It Go, right?'

Courfeyrac grabbed the pencil and wrote back, 'Please, doesn't everyone?'

'Do you need background music as u sign?'

Courfeyrac thought for a moment and wrote, 'Probably.'

Marius opened his back back and pulled out his phone. He pulled up the video from the movie so he could watch it and Courfeyrac could listen to the music.

He could mimic the exact expressions and emotions that he needed to as he signed.

His troubles seeped into the first part of the song. His grandfather, the looming day ahead where he'd have to see his father, the frustration of not being able to talk and the inability to know what anyone was saying unless they looked at him directly. It built up inside of him.

Well know they know...

-RELEASE- signed Marius in a large motion, his right hand going up as far as he could make it go into the air and to the side.

-RELEASE-, this time his left hand going out, his expression exalted.

For the rest of the song he forgot Courfeyrac was even there. He thought only of all the times he'd watched Elsa and the explosions of magic and the beauty of being free. When he finished he was panting slightly and Courfeyrac was standing and clapping.

-You liked it?- signed Marius before he realized he had to write it down.

Courfeyrac grinned and gave him a thumbs up before he wrote, 'That was amazing! You used fewer words though.'

Marius gave up on passing the pencil back and forth and got another one to use. 'ASL uses different grammar. Unlike English, it's designed to be efficient.'

'HEY!' Courfeyrac laughed and Marius joined in. 'True tho. You have leaf green version, right?'

'Yeah.'

'I happen to have a fire red, wanna have some battles?'

Marius smirked. 'Idk, I've beaten the elite four several times.'

'Same. You're on!'

Courfeyrac's mom walked in with a plate of snacks to see them facing each other on the bed with their game boys connected via a link cable. She waved at them and exchanged words with Courfeyrac. They ate as they played and it was going well until Gillenormand came up.

"Courfeyrac," he said, facing Courfeyrac but still in Marius's view so he could lipread. "Thank you for watching Marius, I hope he isn't much trouble."

"I'm not his babysitter. He's my friend," snapped Courfeyrac. "He's a person and you need to stop belittling him."

Gillenormand held up his hands. "Calm down. He's never had a friend, how would I know you like him? Keep him in good spirits; he has to see his father in a week."

Courfeyrac frowned as Marius's grandfather left. He turned to Marius and said, "Did you see what he said?" Marius nodded and looked troubled. "Have you ever met your father before?" Marius shook his head. "Do you want to? I know it's scary."

Marius laid on the bed with the notepad and wrote Courfeyrac a long note.

'My father has never seen me or even written letters to me or tried to contact me. He gave me up in an open adoption after my mom died and he found out I was deaf. So he threw me away. I've never wanted to see him but my grandfather said his health is failing and that he didn't want it to go to court about him having visitation rights so I have to see him.'

"That's horrible." Courfeyrac rubbed Marius's back and laid beside him. "Your grandfather wanted to protect you from him?" Marius nodded his head and closed his eyes, feeling like he needed to cry but couldn't. The visit had been on his mind a lot and he'd already cried and begged to not have to see the man who abandoned him because he couldn't hear.

Courfeyrac turned their games off and set them aside. He took the pad of paper and wrote, 'Do you want to sleep?'

'Okay.' Marius got off the bed and tossed his pillow on the floor. Courfeyrac tapped his shoulder so Marius could look at what he wrote.

'No, I'll sleep on the floor, you're my guest.'

'No it's your bed I can't let you be on the floor.'

Courfeyrac smiled and wriggled his eyebrows. 'Would you be okay sleeping in the same bed?'

Marius blushed and nodded. He picked his pillow back up and tossed it on the bed before taking his shirt and pants off and lying down in his underwear. Courfeyrac could see Marius was uncomfortable and offered him a shirt which he gratefully put on. Courfeyrac curled up with Marius and neither slept for a long time, just resting in the comfort of the other. The long school week ending and the stress Marius had been under made him exhausted and Courfeyrac was happy to snuggle.

Marius subconsciously tucked his head down and Courfeyrac embraced him in what was partly protective and partly affectionate. The storm outside was so intense they could only see grey out the window once Courfeyrac turned out the electric lantern. Marius fell asleep and Courfeyrac smoothed his hair lovingly, excited to introduce his new friend to everyone else.

-my friends my friends this is a page break-

I'd reccomend watching an ASL interpretation of Let It Go if you can on YouTube.


End file.
